Are you connecting or projecting?

I’ve noticed something about myself. When I’m in a large group like at a party or event, I sometimes feel “off.” Almost a bit overwhelmed with all the people, and my energy starts feeling jittery, almost anxious. Like there’s something wrong.  

It doesn’t happen all the time, but once in this energetic feeling I begin noticing little looks or tones from people and judging what it means. Then worry sets in and I wonder if I talked to everyone or did I leave someone out? Did I say the wrong thing? Did I offend anyone?  

This is known as spiraling down a rabbit hole where there is no bottom. It’s a fear-based view of my world. The mind starts projecting odd thoughts I’d never normally think based on the old pattern of trying to feel safe. If I don’t catch myself right away with the initial sideways thought or feeling, it will take over and these thoughts will be projected out into the world I think I see.

Then I’ll start believing my projections as if they are reality instead of simply realizing they are only something I’m thinking or feeling at the moment. I know when I feel this way, because I don’t feel anything like myself. I can’t sleep when I’m like this.

Here’s my journaled solution:

Slow down and stay uber present. Be in heart connection one person at a time. Give what is needed in that moment. Stay connected, not projected. Not thinking.

And for those few nights when I can’t sleep because I feel that jittery vibe, I remind myself that I am projecting and not connecting. I immediately close my eyes, put a hand over my heart, and begin deep breathing.

I listen to my breath, feel the rise and fall of my chest, and feel my heart rate slowing. I imagine a brilliant white waterfall of sparkling light pouring into the top of my head (crown chakra), moving downward in a gentle stream all through my body. I maintain my deep breathing and focus on the stream of light. All thoughts cease and I feel calm, peaceful. This is the way I connect and it always works for me. Within seconds I’m sleeping.

If you can relate to any of these feelings, ask yourself if you are connecting or projecting? Connection feels good, calm. Projection feels worrisome, anxious, and sometimes like anger or depression. It is always about someone or something else, and it is a story that loops around in your head creating stress hormones in your body.

You can take control of what your mind thinks. You can live free of dysfunction and dis-ease. Try deep connection through mindful breathing and see if this method works for you.   

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