The one gift most people crave
There’s usually a lot of socializing this time of year, perhaps with people you don’t know well such as co-worker life partners, or perhaps with people you’re very familiar with like family and friends. But one thing that will make you the hit of any event is to be a good listener.
In this season of magic and wonder, becoming a good listener will go a long way toward peace on earth. When a person feels heard and understood, it’s easier for them to hear and understand you. It’s hard to be mad at a person who connects through genuine empathy.
Here’s some dos and don’ts listening etiquette:
DON’T—
Try to outdo the person’s story. If someone shares something painful, don’t say, “Hey, you think that’s bad? Listen to what happened to me.”
Give advice unless asked. Don’t try to make it better, just care.
Belittle the person by dismissing their feelings. It was a painful experience for them. That’s all that matters. Don’t try to tell them what they went through “wasn’t so bad.”
Sidestep. Don’t simply listen, then change the subject. The person wants to know that they are worthy of your full attention and you take their feelings seriously.
DO—
Engage through your expressions. Nod, maintain eye contact so they know you are listening. Put your phone away.
Stay attentive, hands still, lean forward a bit.
Restate the important parts of their story. The person will most likely explain things clearer if they know someone is really listening.
I’ve noticed that by keeping my mind focused on the person talking without interrupting them with all my good “fix-it” ideas, they seem to unwind, slow down, and let go of the big pent-up emotions they were carrying. Many times, they seem to find their own answers just by talking it out with someone who cares enough to be quiet and listen.
This holiday give the gift most people crave—to be heard.
And as always, I’m available for private sessions if you need deeper understanding, support, or guidance in the form of energy work or intuitive life coaching.