How to end a debilitating belief with ease and grace
The other day while talking with a lovely client, I heard her proclaim the very thing she’s trying to transcend. She said, “I am a worrier.”
For her, this is a truth though she didn’t come out of the womb a worrier. This is a behavior she saw modeled in childhood by her mother, and she learned to believe it to be a truth about herself as well.
But beliefs can be unlearned. Let me say that again: you DO NOT have to keep a belief no matter what it is or who modeled the belief for you. You get to decide what’s true for you.
Now my client is well-aware she has this belief, and wants to end this debilitating falsehood. It’s creating a lot of ill-health and relationship issues for her, and I give her so much credit for wanting to make the change to end this addictive pattern of worry. We’ve all experienced how hard it is to change something that seems such a part of who we are.
So, here’s a little hack you can use to gently move toward your goal to be free of the beliefs and behaviors that hold your back from a more peaceful, enjoyable life.
Understand that the words I am are creative. Whatever you say following these two words is your powerful statement to the universe that this is who you believe you are. Because you believe this to be true, Universal (God) energy calls for more circumstances in alignment with this belief so you can experience yourself as you believe. Believing is seeing.
In my client’s case, her power statement is “I am a worrier,” so she finds lots of things to worry about. Yet, for most of us, it’s a big leap to move from a belief you’ve held about yourself forever, to switching to something like “I am carefree.” We simply won’t be able to believe it as our truth no matter how many times we say it.So instead start with something less drastic, like “I am concerned.” The energy of “concern” is a hair more neutral. Worry seems like the worst thing that could happen will happen—like death. Yours or someone you love. But concern feels more like, I’m concerned about the safety of that ladder, or I’m concerned that you’re not making a good choice. See the subtle difference? I’m worried you might die; versus I’m concerned you might die. Concern carries a bit more neutrality with it because there isn’t the same emotional charge around it.
My client, like most of us, also likes to use the word “but” when I ask her to think about a change. She’ll say, “I see what you’re saying, but…” So, if you’re used to adding a “but” to your statements, why not use it to help transcend a habitual pattern? Go with what you’re used to that makes the fewest radical changes in order to shift the belief with ease and grace.
Here’s a few examples of how this might look:
I am concerned, but I know I did a great job raising my (adult) children so I can trust they will do what’s best for them even if I don’t agree or understand their choice.
I am concerned, but nothing bad I’ve thought of has ever happened.
I am concerned, but I know my loved one has the same guardians, guides, and wisdom flowing through them that flows through me so they will know what to do.
Try this little hack of not getting too radical about changing a strong belief as you begin to neutralize it. You will still be shifting out of a destructive belief into something much more peaceful and freeing.
And as always, I’m available for private sessions if you need deeper understanding, support, or guidance in the form of energy work or intuitive life coaching.