Do you know the most important question you can ask about yourself?

The most important question you’ll ever ask yourself is: Is this the truth about me?

A while back I was on the phone with my brother and he said, “Sometimes I feel like you don’t listen to me…”

That simple statement immediately triggered me. Triggers are fast, instant. We hear or see something that causes a strong feeling and boom! We react irrationally (or avoid, deny) —not respond in a conscious present-moment manner.

My particular trigger brought on by my brother’s statement is rooted in childhood history. Since I recognized my first reaction was to reject his statement, make him wrong, and dismiss him, I was able to realize it was a trigger for me. An old childhood pattern caused by some hurt feelings.

This allowed a pause in me which is a bridge between reaction and conscious response. Now I was able to realize I’m many decades past childhood and so is he. We are no longer those same people. So, I asked myself in that instant if it was true that I wasn’t listening to him, and the adult in me was able to see that it was.

What did I do?

I apologized and said, “You’re right. I don’t listen to you like I want to. I’m listening now. Tell me again.”

The whole conversation changed to one of mutual respect, understanding, and love because he was brave enough to speak up and I was conscious enough to take a pause and move into the present moment where true connection is possible with myself first, extended outward to my brother.

Now, I’m not suggesting you automatically agree with what someone says to you or about you. That’s giving a lot of responsibility and control for your life to someone else which will keep you stuck in victim mentality.

I’m simply inviting you to take a pause when triggered and ask yourself IF there’s any truth in what the other person is telling you. If so, make amends. If not, trying to convince them that what they believe is wrong will only enlarge the energy. They are entitled to their opinions and so are you.

If you know what’s true about you, you will easily let go of caring what others think. You will not need to validate your truth through others. You simply know what’s real for you and it’s okay for others to think differently.

You can also use this technique when your inner critic gives you a hard time. When you start feeling bad about yourself for some perceived error, ask if what you’re telling yourself is true. Hint: if you’re feeling bad about yourself or others, you’re listening to lies. Your highest wisdom always makes you feel good, encouraged, hopeful, calm, and offers real solutions to your situation.

And as always, I’m available for private sessions if you need deeper understanding, support, or guidance in the form of energy work or intuitive life coaching.