Do you appreciate the painful experiences in your life?

Happy Thanksgiving! My favorite holiday. All the feels and none of the shopping! And since it’s the day for counting blessings, I’m going to invite you to do an exercise a bit deeper than the usual gratitude list.

A quote I’ve always thought profound is an old Arabian proverb: “All sunshine and no rain makes a desert.” I like the image this conjures in my mind and find it useful when faced with adversity. It helps me not to judge something I’m going through as “bad” necessarily, and puts things into a larger perspective.

So, what in my life would I classify as something “bad,” or maybe painful is a more accurate word? Well…

Several years ago, I went through experience often referred to as the dark night of the soul. For me, it was a relentless, deep depression unlike anything I ever imagined possible. It came on seemingly out of the blue without a catalyst I could fathom.

Every day I woke weighted with an unending, unnamed sorrow that broke my heart. Some days I actually wondered if I was having a heart attack, it hurt so much.

I told no one. I kept up my happy appearance at work and at home with friends and family. But inside my whole world had shattered. I wasn’t the same. It wasn’t as if I was empty inside. That would have been a blessing. Instead, it was a deep sorrow I couldn’t name and couldn’t seem to change. Every day the same. I couldn’t find any joy. The sadness was an overwhelming, all-consuming torture 24/7.

After many months of this kind of pain, I came to understand why a person would consider suicide. I couldn’t just “get out of it.” Yet, I knew it was an experience FOR me. Something I brought to help me, though I couldn’t imagine what. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t wish this type of suffering on anyone.

And then, I finally told a dear friend what I was going through. I choked on my tears as I told her. And she said, “This is where you got stuck last time.”

I know it makes little sense, but it was like she hit a switch to my soul and a light turned on. I immediately felt better, my heart lighter. And that was the end of my experience. I couldn’t imagine going through anything more painful than what I just had, but what I gained was a type of fearlessness I’d never known.

That experience brought me an unshakeable sense of peace, an absolute knowing I have nothing to fear. All these years later, I still retain that peaceful fearlessness no matter what is happening in my life. It’s a complete sense of freedom to be completely me versus a false sense of identity to try to be what I’m not. Not a bad tradeoff and I now see the whole experience as a great blessing. I can understand what others go through from a deeper perspective.

How you embrace your life as it is without wishing for something different or thinking it should be different, is the foundation for what shows up next for you. The outer world you experience as reality is more of a co-creation checkpoint for how you think and feel about your life.

Today, I invite you to think of some of the most painful, confusing, desperate times in your life and discover the way you are different now because things didn’t go the way you wanted. It’s easy to be thankful for the good in your life, but can you appreciate and value of the perceived bad?

It’s all your life and it’s all FOR you, never against you. Search for the richness of depth the shadow side holds for you, and see if you can find the gift in the experience—even if it’s a heartfelt determination to change something about your life in order to never go through a particular experience again.

Celebrate the Whole of you and all your experiences this Thanksgiving, simply because they are yours co-created by you and God, the Source of All. No one will ever experience what you do in the same way. You are a uniquely authentic eternal life growing in consciousness through your personal experiences. You GET TO decide what life—your life—means to you. I can’t think of a more awesome and meaningful thing to appreciate.

Blessings to you and yours today, and always.

And as always, I’m available for private or gallery sessions if you need deeper understanding, support, or guidance through energy work or intuitive life coaching.

If you’d like to learn a couple powerful techniques for having more energy, watch my free video Take Back Your Energy.

If you’d like to learn how to help bring more love to yourself, your families, your neighborhoods, cities, and the world, watch this video on a simple way to change fear energy to Love by using our waterways.