Are you brave enough to tell a new story?
“What you do with your mind and emotion will eventually build a cocoon around you which is not a protection. It’s a coffin.” –Sadhguru
Last week I talked about a powerful takeaway I learned from Brene Brown in a televised event I watched. Basically, whatever thoughts we’re having is a story we’re telling ourselves. If there’s a strong emotion attached to the thoughts, then we’re telling ourselves a story with strong feeling.
If the story triggers within us painful feelings, we will almost always want to blame someone else or judge them as the cause for how we feel and project that story onto to them as fact.
When triggered this way with a loved one, Brown encourages us to recognize we are having strong feelings and to say to your person: The story I’m telling myself right now is _________. Then share whatever you’re thinking/feeling. Most of us are not mind readers and can appreciate this type of sharing as a valuable tool for real connection.
Now, here’s another way I believe this little gem can be useful whenever you’re spiraling down the rabbit hole of negativity, self-loathing, blame, judgment, procrastination, or complaining about someone, life in general, or your life in particular.
Say to yourself: The story I’m telling myself right now is______ (fill in the blank). Examples can be:
Nothing ever goes right for me no matter how hard I try.
My spouse never listens to me, doesn’t get me, takes me for granted, never helps me, doesn’t love me, etc.
My co-worker doesn’t do their fair share, is lazy but gets the promotion I deserve, is a loud-mouthed, opinionated bore, is always late but no one cares but if I’m late it’s the end of the world, etc.
You get the point; we’ve all experienced times like these because we’re human. Fill in the blank with whatever scenario you’re currently experiencing that triggers you into creating a story.
Next say to yourself: My new story is_________(fill in the blank).
Now take your story and see how the exact same scenario can be beneficial and not all negative. This is the time to get curious about the experience you’re having and take the big emotions out of your process for a more neutral, accurate perspective. Examples:
The story I’m telling myself right now is nothing ever goes right for me no matter how hard I try.
The new story I’m telling myself is it’s so interesting I think this way when I know many things I want I’ve gotten with ease. Hmmm, I wonder why it’s easier for me to believe nothing goes right for me when I can see that’s not true at all. Could not getting something I think I want right now be actually saving me from wasting time and energy that’s distracting me from something more in alignment for me? The new story I’m telling myself is all things meant for me come into my life with ease and grace because they are in perfect alignment with me. Everything else I let go of immediately as not a good fit for me at this time. I trust my process.
The story I’m telling myself right now is my spouse doesn’t listen to me and that makes me feel like I don’t matter to my spouse.
The new story I’m telling myself is my spouse listens to me during the times I make an effort to connect and communicate versus complain or blame. The bigger new story I’m telling myself is I am ready to listen to me by connecting to my highest wisdom before I move into any type of communication. That I do not need my spouse to listen to me to feel worthy and valued by me. The new story I’m telling myself is I am present with my spouse without thought, attachment, or expectation for what it looks like to connect.
The story I’m telling myself right now is my co-worker can do whatever they want to and get away with it.
The new story I’m telling myself is I’m distracting myself from creating my own best life by judging my co-worker, when in truth I have no idea what experience is right for this person to help them in their own evolution. The new story I’m telling myself is I know what is right for me and I live that way with an easy peace inside without needing to judge anyone else for their way. We all have our own ways and I don’t want to be judged for mine.
There are a gazillion ways to fill in the blanks of your story; these are just a few examples. Create your own best way. Focus on what you want to see in your life and look at everything you’re experiencing as a help for that end.
P.S. A quick reminder invitation for the open house celebration for the new location of my office, Studio 2.0 Salon, and Ruby’s Eyelashes! Wednesday, April 19 (today!) from 4-7pm Snacks, refreshments, and drawings. Address: 367 W Main Street, Ellsworth, WI 54011. I can’t wait to share this beautiful new space with you!
And as always, I’m available for private sessions if you need deeper understanding, support, or guidance in the form of energy work or intuitive life coaching.