How to respond to a crabby person
If you came across a porcupine and it had its sharp, pointy quills up and out in the locked and loaded position, would you poke at it? No, right? That would be an insane thing to do, because you know you’re going to get hurt.
The same can be said if you poke at an already irritated person. If everything about them looks like they’re ready for battle and you engage, then know it’s highly likely you’re the one that’s going to end up with a few emotional scars. The advice seems simple—walk away. Leave crabby people alone.
But what if the crabby person is your boss, or your partner, or your child, or your parent, and walking away is not always an option? What do you do with a person who is cranky and miserable and doing their best to pick a fight with you?
The first thing to do is take a deep breath which creates a tiny pause, allowing some space for the intelligence that is the authentic sane You to be present. Within this Presence your ability to respond is possible, versus reaction. Reaction is habit, an old pattern resurfacing that will not bring solution.
Within the Presence of solution, you’ll notice a subtle shift within. It’s quiet, and when you notice it, you’ll start to feel more peaceful. You are now alert to the inevitable present moment. In this moment of right now, you know nothing can be different because it is happening as it is right now. You will see clearly that you have two choices: resist the inevitable present moment or accept it fully.
If you resist, you will immediately move into thinking the inevitable present moment “should” be different and start inventing a story which will be based on a memory (past), that you will project into the future. You are now insane, caught in your imagined reality where problems are multiplied. You will grow the drama, expanding the energy of it into your future and experience it all over again.
If you fully accept the inevitable present moment as it is, because that is the only way it can be, then you move into the ability to respond. Acceptance brings total freedom. You are IN solution and have the ability to create your future as you’d like to live it.
If you need to take action, you will. If you need to say something, you will. If you need to walk away, you will. If you need to sit quietly and hold space for your person, you will. And you’ll do it out of a sense of heightened compassion. You won’t feel attacked, belittled, angry, or triggered in any way. You won’t feel the need to lash out or invent a story. You will be completely peaceful and come from a place of alert response.
The next time you’re with a crabby person and you’re tempted to react, don’t. Instead, take a deep breath and pause. Fully accept the inevitable present moment as it is, which allows your sanity to kick in.
As you make a practice out of fully accepting the present moment as it is and not thinking it should be different, you will see that people can be as they are but you won’t be reacting to their moods.
And as always, I’m available for private or group sessions if you need deeper understanding, support, or guidance through energy work or intuitive life coaching.
If you’d like to learn a couple powerful techniques for having more energy, watch my free video Take Back Your Energy.
If you’d like to learn how to help bring more love to yourself, your families, your neighborhoods, cities, and the world, watch this video on a simple way to change fear energy to Love by using our waterways.