Healing is an intimate, internal job
I think I’ve mentioned a few times that I like to journal when feeling stuck, challenged with a problem, or having big emotions.
Why?
Because I always get my answers even when I don’t want them, or more accurately, when I don’t want the truth of them. I’ve found heart-felt truth often leads to a change in my perception and usually asks for a change in my behavior and actions.
I know myself. I can be stubborn when it comes to change and I know you’re shocked by this admission, but it’s true. 😊
I was documenting—or maybe complaining in my journal how my right shoulder was weak and painful, my left knee still swollen, locked, painful, and my right knee locked but not as painful unless tired. Only my left arm felt good. Admittedly, I’ve been in this agonizing limbo since January and was wondering how to recoup some energy so I could feel better.
This is the answer I received from the quiet, loving “voice” I hear in my mind during these written conversations:
“You are confused about many things for yourself—healing among them. You must ask what value pain and weakness still hold for you.”
Yikes, right. Uncensored honesty. But I want to move forward complete in my healing, so I took a deep breath and fully let myself list whatever came to me:
Gets me out of stuff I no longer want to do that I haven’t had success vocalizing in the past without guilt. Now I can’t do them.
Gives me permission to be me with no apologies to my loved ones.
Gives me time to decide what I want my life to be without doing things I know I don’t want to do.
Lets me secretly blame others for not being brave enough to take the full leap into life.
Learning more about body function and the emotional frequency that creates within the body.
It allows me to put myself first without guilt.
It allows me to try new forms of healing I’d never do because of money and time spent away from home/work.
It’s a huge timeout of my old way of “doing” my life. I’ve been creating excuses to stuff things that no longer feel right to me, instead of creating what my heart gently whispers are my best ways out of fear I’ll hurt those I love most or be hurt by them if I am totally me.
I’ve also been waiting around for things to change.
Um…yeah. These are my deep-felt, black and white fears I pushed waaaaay down and didn’t want to look at. But nothing about the energy of this year is going to let me get away with any of it. I will create exactly as my frequency blueprint instructs. My realization is I know I wouldn’t be experiencing any of it in this exact way if I wasn’t ready to end long-held patterns of belief that no longer help me.
Ok. I have my list and can see what feels true for me. Now what?
My journal answered:
“Trust your path. When you are ready to let go of all those ‘values’ in favor of loving and honoring who you are, exactly as you are, you will be healed, whole.”
“Continue to ask your Spirit into your body (Highest God Self). Continue to raise vibration through appreciation. You tend to list what you notice as ‘gone wrong’ like lack of the ability to smell, immobility, etc. All of these things turn back on when appreciation is high in you.”
Well, cool. I’m ready for “things” to turn back on in my body.
The answers I received through journaling gave me a stark new understanding of the frequencies I’ve been using as creative energy fuel to build my life. I can now choose to learn and let go of these old beliefs that are long past their expiration date without beating myself up for what I didn’t realize I was doing. I’m also not going to strangle myself with expectation or any kind of attachment for how long my healing might take.
I also realize I might not have seen any of this a year ago, or a month ago, or even a day ago. My process has not felt easy, and sometimes it’s been heartbreaking to see myself this clearly, but I’m ready and strong enough now to make the changes I need in order to move forward, which I find encouraging.
I offer my intimate process as one way that has always worked for me when dealing with my challenges. Maybe journaling or something like it can work for you too? All that’s required is a bit of uninterrupted time, a willingness to stay open to your Spirit/Soul/God messages, as much objective self-honesty as you can muster, and allowing yourself to make decisions and take actions in ways that feel right and balanced for you.
Again, journaling is simply one way I find useful. You are a completely unique expression of the Divine. You have your way and your perfect timing. Trust that above all.
And as always, I’m available for private sessions if you need deeper understanding, support, or guidance in the form of energy work or intuitive life coaching.